My Heart

Everyone once in a while a shot comes around that stops me. Not because it's technically a perfect photo, but because it captures you and how much you have grown. You are just growing way to fast my boy. The last year has been the difference between a baby face and a little boy. I can't believe how much you have changed. You look older, you act older, you talk older, you are older and it most definitely excites me to watch you grow but it leaves me with as sadness as well. Life is so short and parenthood has a way of reminding you of that constantly. It may be short but I am so thankful I get to raise you and watch you grow.

A Boy & His Ball

Like most little boys he is addicted to balls. Throwing them, kicking them, tossing them high in the air, throwing them at walls, etc. He was having a little bit of a meltdown here and I guess he just needed a moment with his ball. :))

All Smiles

Love this sweet smile, wish you could hear the giggle on the other end of it. I was wrapping him in the blanket and tossing him onto the bed. Each time seemed to be just as funny as the last. Love you little dude. Your smile lights up my world.

Morning View

Another snow day today. Last night we were hit with some pretty awesome ice/snow. This morning as I stood at my kitchen window and drank my coffee I couldn't help but be reminded of how beautiful winter is.

Snow!

Well we finally got to go outside and enjoy a bit of the snow. He loved it and kept swearing to us, "I not cold". His favorite part was picking up the ice chunks the plows and shovels left and throwing them up in the air. :))

It's Cold Outside

Poor guy, he has waited so long to play in some snow and now that it is here it is too cold to go out. He likes to stand at the window and look at it. One day he looked at me and asked, "why we not making snow angles mom".

Hopefully soon bud...

Dragons! Dragons! Dragons!

Our new obsession is How to Train a Dragon. Every minute.Every hour.Every day... he wants to fight dragons. It is nothing out of the normal to have him shout, "mom a dragon" and a sword comes flying past my head. It's pretty cute most of the time, but sometimes I wish those dragons would just sleep every now and then. :))

Our Shadow

He is constantly at our feet. He no longer sits in a room by himself since we put Berkley down. I thought this photograph was appropriate with the shadowing. He is our shadow now, when we turn around there he is right beside us. I feel so awful for him that he feels so lonely that he can't sit in a room by himself. :(

Operation Big Boy Room

It wasn't easy taking down his nursery. I remember putting it up and thinking oh how our life is about to change. Now here we are taking it all down and making a room that fits his growing personality. There are still a few more things that I want to do but overall I am happy with it and he loves it so that is what is important.

Grandpa's Toy

A playroom stacked with new toys from Christmas but this little guy found one of grandpa's toys in the closet and can't seem to put it down. I cringe a little bit as he comes racing past me and yelling, "bam, bam, bam". The little drummer guy seems to be on his game though, he hasn't missed a beat. I asked him to stop for a minute and told him, "Ryder did you know this was grandpa's toy when he was a little boy"? His response was, "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat". :)) I am not a big fan of saving a bunch of "past" things but even I have to admit it is pretty neat to watch him get such a big kick out of something that used to be grandpa's.

Day 365 / 365 - My Last 2014 365 Post

It is not lost on me that I literally sound like I won an award for finishing this 365 project. Trust me internally I have. It is such a strange feeling to type 365 / 365. I remember starting it and thinking whoa that is going to be a lot. I have to admit I am a lot sadder than I thought I would be. As I look back on this year there are some amazing things I never want to forget about and some sad times that will be locked in my memory forever. 

Day 89 - My 4 sisters and I got matching tattoos and had one of the most amazing days of our life. 

Day 117 - Ryder saw his first movie at the theaters. 

Day 151 - Ryder and I were stuck in an empty parking lot on a 95 degree day for four hours. We made the most of it and it ended up being one of the best days of my life and I will cherish for many years. 

Day 193 - My beautiful sister Amy married her best friend and I was able to photograph it. 

Day 195 - Hello Costa Rica! 

Day 222 - My heart broke as I watched my oldest brother bury his son. I will never forget the sadness that day holds, it is something no parent should ever have to do. I will continue to pray daily for their healing.

Day 235 - Ryder drove a robot and it started an obsession

Day 264 - I made the decision to put my four legged best friend to sleep. so.many.tears.that.day.

Day 267 - You turned 3! 

Day 310 - Grandpa showed up at our door for a surprise visit! 

Day 328 - An exciting announcement that you are going to have a sweet new GIRL cousin in May! 

What an amazing year. When I look through my lens and see this face it is like my whole world focuses in. You son have taught me so much about enjoying the small moments around me and not taking life for granted. I am truly blessed to be your mom. Happy New Year everyone! Thanks for following this years journey! 

Day 364 / 365 - Hound Love

I received a giant amazingly soft blanket for a Secret Santa gift this year. I walked out to the living room this morning and found this. Looks like a certain hound thinks it's pretty awesome also. Anyone who has a basset knows that when they sleep you just stare at them and wish you could sleep like that.

 ... the jealousy continues. 

Day 363 / 365 - I'm A Saw'n Guy Mom

He recieved a chain saw for Christmas. He likes to walk around the house and ask us,"you want a Christmas tree?" or "you want a big tree or a little one this year?". Today he came up to me with a big smile on his face and said, "MOM, I a saw'n guy" and then flashed this big shark tooth grin up at me. :))

Day 362 / 365 - Feels Good to be Home

We had an amazing week at home with family, but it feels so good to be home. This little guy has been playing with every new toy and reading every new book he received over Christmas. Being away from family is so unbelievably hard, but being at our home feels so right. <3

Day 361 / 365 - Life is Good

It has been an amazing few days full of love and family. This little guy is in heaven with his new headphones and all the spoiling. Love me some dark shots. :))

Day 360 / 365 - All Smiles

We are all smiles as we have fun at Grandma's and Grandpa's house. I laugh because this little guy literally thinks the Christmas "normal" is three different Christmas'. He knows we go from one grandparent's house to another. He knows that as we leave one we will have just as many presents at another. He is spoiled and loved, and I am ok with that. He is all smiles when he is home with family and loves playing with cousins. Love how happy family makes him and love that we may not live close but family is everything to him and he is everything to them.

Day 359 / 365 - Merry "3rd" Christmas

Waking up to a room full of presents is nothing short of exciting!!! Someone was extremely pumped up to get to the gift opening. :))

Day 358 / 365 - Be Merry

Simply because he is cute and I don't send out Christmas cards. :))

Day 357 / 365 - Reflections

A rarity, we are in Iowa and Ryder is napping and no one else is home. It is just me, Christmas lights, a fresh hot chocolate and my absolute favorite magazine. This gives me time to reflect on the year that is almost behind me. What an amazing year it has been. It was full of laughter, tears, heavy hearts, heavy sadness, beauty, family, longing, and content all in one. I am grateful for this time to reflect on the ups and the downs this year. We lost loved ones this year, and our hearts break for that. We were reminded that life is short and we do not know what tomorrow will hold. Through those tears I was reminded that I do have today and for that I will cherish it and the good that I will soon leave behind me but cherish in my heart.

Day 356 / 365 - Traveling

Santa was here and someone is a little excited to be headed home for more presents and to see some of his favorites.

Day 355 / 365 - Christmas Morning Magic

Is there really anything more fun than seeing your child so filled with joy on Christmas morning? This morning was perfect and magical. 

Day 354 / 365 - Christmas Eve

Tonight we laid out milk and cookies for Santa. December 20th probably isn't Christmas Eve for most, but for this family who has to travel the whole week of Christmas we enjoy the early arrival of Santa. We put reindeer food out in the yard, and put a lighted snowflake on the door for santa to find us early. We laid out the milk and cookies and Ryder decided that the fireplace was in fact a great place to eat milk and cookies himself So he went and got his chocolate milk and cookie and propped down right next to Santa's food. It took a little bit for him to understand we are actually not going to wait and see Santa, we just have to trust that he will find him. 

We also said goodbye to our elf Macaroni (yes that is what Ryder named him). Ryder was really sad to say goodbye to him and in fact he was walking to the bedroom turned around and ran back to Macaroni and said, "I will miss you so much Macaroni". As crazy as this "elf" process is, it was really fun to give him that excitement every morning. I will miss him running out of his room yelling for "Maaacccaarooonnniiii". 

Day 353 / 365 - Ornament Drama

Today I picked him up from Shirley's house and he met me with a beautiful salt and flour Christmas tree ornament. He was so very proud to give it to me and tell me he made it for me. I have to be honest I was super excited about it, I knew he did it on his own and I knew he understood enough that he was making it to make me happy. We got home and hung it on the tree and went into the other room. I came running back to a shrill scream coming from the living room to find Ry standing over Hunter and Hunter with a mouth full of a Christmas tree ornament. Ryder was screaming, that was mine I made it, I wanted to show daddy!! Oh holy heart break for this mom. So I decided I better make this all better quickly! I scooped Ryder up, threw him in the car and through his cries he was asking where were we going. We walked into Michaels and I asked him what he wanted to put on his new ornament. He thought for a minute and stopped pouting and said, "paint". So we walked around and decided to get clay this time so we didn't have another "situation" and then went home and made this perfect little gem. I miss the first one he made because it was "his" that he made without me, but he loves his new one and we can now giggle about our four legged friend who seems to ruin a lot of things. :))

Day 352 / 365 - Growing Way too Fast

Every year I have one photo that I must get. It is my light photo. I tried it when he was one and I loved it. I tried it when he was two and I loved it. So this year I brought all my things out and tried it again. Love. It is so fun for me to watch how much he has grown in the last three years. Although, I must say... I thought he looked a bit older in his two year old shot. haha. He is amazing and growing and healthy and so very loved. I love Christmas and love focusing on all that I am blessed with.

Day 351 / 365 - Lights

Tonight we drove around with hot chocolates in hand and looked at all of the Christmas lights. Stopped at this beautiful house and Ryder loved it! It was synced with the music and Ryder thought it was hilarious, he was dancing to the music and giggling at the moving lights. Tonight was a good night. :)

Day 350 / 365 - Giggles

A little back story on this picture, the two of them were playing on the bed and Hunter (being the crude dog he is) burped as loudly as he could possibly burp in Ryder's face. Ryder looked at me with huge eyes and just started laughing uncontrollably. I am so surrounded by boys in this house... gross boys. ;) {I kind of love it}

Day 349 / 365 - Christmas Traditions

I can't express how fun it is to have traditions with my own child. Watching him do this house cracked me up. I am positive there is more candy in his belly than on the house. "mom, nope this one is not perfect" as he pops it in his mouth. Love him.

Day 348 / 365 - Woods & Dirt

We ran out to take a picture of Daddy's deer {yes daddy's deer}. My directions to this little dude was to not get dirty please while we were doing that. I went to find him and he was playing with a little bit of dirt at the tips of his fingers. He told me, "I not really getting dirty". I guess if it is just confined to the fingernails then it must be ok. ;))

Day 347 / 365 - Movie Date {iphone picture}

We had a movie date tonight to Big Hero and it was such a cute movie. I had to snap a quick picture of this, he loves to fold himself up in the chair. He sat like this for most of the movie. One day he will be too little to fold himself up in a chair and I will miss that so much.

Day 346 / 365 - Just Hanging Around

So excited it is Friday, so excited I get to spend the weekend with this little guy. Sure there is probably going to be lots of shopping in our near future but at the end of the day I get to unwind and be silly with this little guy. Two weeks off with him is so close I can almost feel it!!!

Day 345 / 365 - Hot Chocolate Break

Sometimes you just need to stop where you are and take a hot chocolate break... I totally get it.

Day 344 / 365 - Snowball Fight

Well as I mentioned in the previous post grandma is here and tonight she showed up from the store with this goodness. Picture Ry opening the bag and going to instant "SNOWBALL FIGHT" mode. Running around like a crazy and whipping snowballs at all of us. So funny. Hopefully we can get some real snowball fights in soon!

Day 343 / 365 - Snow Globe Love

Grandma B is here is she comes bearing gifts. :)) I have a love for snow globes and it is brushing off on this little guy. We can't walk past one without shaking it. I love to watch him watch the winter wonderland inside. It has to look magical through the eyes of a little one.

Day 342 / 365 - Fort Fun

Yeah, little boys are kind of fun.

Day 341 / 365 - Amazing Women

An incredible weekend with these four beautiful women. I can't ever seem to express how much my sisters mean to me. We have been through so much in life and out of it we have created a bond that is simply unbreakable. So many laughs this weekend and it reminds me how truly blessed I am these incredible women as my best friends. Love you girls, you make my heart whole. 

Day 340 / 365 - 5 in the Bed

Five women. One very small hotel room. Lots of laughter. Lots of love. These numbers will not mean anything to you reading them but to us they are a lifetime of memories. 

1. Pffffff

2. Dry _______

3. Lip Syncing

4. belly laughs / belly aches

5. Erryday... erry damn day

6. Amy covered in ice

7. 5 girls , one bathroom , Amy wins

8. Sun Tans at dinner

9. Pancake Must Haves

10. Mood Swings 

... so many more.

Day 339 / 365 - It's HERE!

There will be a minor break in my normal toddler photos because it is one of my favorite weekends of the year! It is here and I am so excited. I get to spend a short but much needed weekend with 4 of my absolute favorite women in the world. Sister weekend is something I look forward to all year long. We do two a year and they are beyond needed when they arrive. So excited!

Day 338 / 365 - Doggy Love

... simply because I love these two. <3