Dad's Gone

Dad is out of town and he always seems to struggle a bit. His consolation prize is we bring out dad's rhino (yes dad's rhino) and he gets to sleep with him and play with him just while he is gone. Yes dad has a rhino, many many many years ago I bought it for him because he has always loved the rhino and there is a little inside joke with us. Randomly we have kept it all these years and little dude loves it. It may not provide me with sleeping through the night, but it helps with the tears when he is gone.

Easter

Today was a hard day, it may have been full of candy and fun times but I will not act like it wasn't hard for me. My dad comes for Easter, he has been here every year. We don't have family here for holidays it is just one of the drawbacks of being the only one who lives far away from others. So to celebrate Easter with my dad here was one of my favorite times of the year. I had a pit in my stomach when the Easter stuff came out in the stores. Dad would always show up at our house with a GIANT basket of some sort, filled with so much stuff for Ryder and me it was ridiculous. This year... it was lonely. Too quiet, too much of the three of us. There should have been a fourth person here and it was very apparent. Last year I made dad leave early and told him he wasn't allowed to stay for Easter. He was in so much pain and couldn't even do normal daily things. Something was wrong and we both knew it. His choice was to stay here and go to the VA I found here or go home and see someone. He did decide to leave, had I known it would have been the last time he would have been at my house I would have hugged him a little longer. I would have given him an Easter basket full of things we loved about him. I know he was with us here in spirit and Ryder had a great day, but i'm not sure this holiday will ever get any easier. 

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Mom & Ryder Day

Today we got to visit on of our favorite places the Coralville, Iowa Children's Museum. Anyone who knows my child knows how much he loves imaginary play. This place allows him to be a pizza maker, grocery store worker, doctor, ambulance driver, farmer, pilot, post office worker, and so on. He loves this place and talks about it often. He has been asking to go back to the place where "I can milk the cow". It was just a mom and Ryder day but we had a great time together and I have to say I am proud of my polite little guy. I don't brag often but he deserves it. When another child would take something he was using he had a quick response today of "that's ok, right mom. I can let them play with it". Love his sweet self.

Hotel 'Show & Tell' Shenanigans

The week before we were scheduled to leave Ryder started talking about all he was going to do at the "show and tell" ie... hotel. He asked me to call his Uncle Brad to tell him to please have Ben and Colin bring their dino slippers because they all had to play dinosaurs there. I am very thankful for a patient uncle when this mama did not want to swim in that cold pool. What is so hard about heated pools in the midwest. You would think this would be a given. It may have been march but it was 30 degrees outside and there was no way you were getting me in that pool. Ryder loved playing with Brad and in fact I think he left there thinking he was one of the coolest people he knows. Man I love these three little boys. 

Dinosaurs!!

Well our spring break plans got changed but luckily our uncle Brad knew how obsessed a certain someone is with dino's and called to invite us to the dino expo in Des Moines. Three little boys were in dino heaven that is for sure. You walk in to a dark room with loud dinosaur sounds throughout. As you move through the moving dinosaurs there seems to be never ending things to look at. Between the dinosaur that is eating (yes eating) another dinosaur, the large t-rex shadow moving on the back wall, and then the dinosaurs that are walking around the room it was interesting from an adults perspective yet alone to be a 3, 4, or 5 year old. I can't imagine what was in their head and how big all of that looked to them. The baby dinosaurs were very interesting. They seemed to move on their own and would respond to you. Ben even asked, "what happens when the baby dinosaurs get too big"? Thanks to Uncle Brad's quick response of "they get put on an island" I am pretty sure all three little dudes will forever be thinking that a Jurassic Park scenario is actually out there.

Ryder & Mom

Valentine's Day snuggles from my favorite mini valentine. He is not feeling well so we are enjoying a very lazy coffee in bed kind of day while the snow is coming down outside. It's perfection. <3

Sneaky

I have the kind of child that is pretty quiet. Doesn't get into much but every now and then you turn a corner and he has something "interesting" going on. When I asked him what he was doing he said, "looking outside". Like we don't have 50 windows that are at his level. I guess maybe he thought there was something different he had never seen out of this one. 

Nesquik

Things were quiet today and I decided to go and check it out. I found this little guy hiding in the corner of his bedroom with the canister or Nesquik. I don't think I have ever seen him jump as high as he did when I found him. He gave me wide eyes and a chocolate "hey mom" smile. There was chocolate everywhere, on the floor, on his face, on his clothes, on his hands, on his teddy bear... everywhere. I calmly said, "Ryder what in the world are you doing"??? He responded with a simple, "eating chocolate". My response to him... "if you promise to let me take a picture of you and promise to NEVER EVER do this again, I will not get mad". Again, I got a chocolate smile and a quick "ok mom".

A Boy & Arlo

We are counting the days until The Good Dinosaur comes out on video. He loved that movie and loves his Arlo. What's better than some pretty light and a boy talking sweetly to his dinosaur? :) Love this child.

When It's Quiet

I was making yarn balls for clown day at preschool for his shirt and he was very interested in the yarn. I got a pretty bad headache and decided to go take a break and lay down for bit...

I fell asleep and woke up to this. Haha! This kid!! He was extremely quiet and totally in the yarn zone, I decided to just let it happen and grin and bear the disaster happening right in front of me.

Mom Snuggles

It's hard to get him to slow down long enough to get snuggles these days. I am not nearly as exciting as I once was I guess. Enjoyed our snuggles today as a missed nap time lead to a sleepy boy once the sun started setting. Love this little dude.

Snow!

We have been short on snow this year and I am not going to lie about it, it is getting me down. I love snow, I hate to be one to admit it but I really do kind of like winter. Yes I am not crazy about the bitter cold but it's a little bit of magic when you wake up to the ground sparkling in white. Nature at it's finest. Today was finally warm enough to go play in it for a bit and he loved it. He played hard for a good hour and when we came inside we had to thaw him back out. :))

He Is Perfection

Dragon Fighter

When it's too cold to go outside for days on end and a package comes with a decent size box you make the most of it. It's not pretty but we did exactly what he wanted us to do to it. I heard a lot of yelling coming from his playroom. When I walked in I saw a full caped little boy riding a boat across the ocean fighting off all the flying dragons. This child is not short on imagination. He lives in a world where dragons and dinosaurs live together and are always flying overhead. Sometimes we seem to live well together and in peace and other times we may be in the middle of dinner and receive a surprise attack from a pterodactyl. 

Why Not Be It All?

When I asked him what he was doing he simply replied with "I am a Superhero, Dragon Hunter, Dragon Fighter, Bad Guy".



                                                                                            ... as if I couldn't tell.

Lashes, Lips, and Bubbles

 Sleeping babies and bath time babies are pretty perfect. <3

Earned Himself An Upgrade

So years ago my parents thought they would "bless" us with this weird Amazon frog. Actually we had two at two different times, however let's just say we believe this one likes to live alone. When they brought this frog in I thought, "sure, this thing can't live longer than a year". Here we sit probably about 3 and a half years later. I decided he needed an upgrade in homes and it's time I just admit to myself he is going to be here for awhile. So the lovely tank and decor was picked out by Ryder and I am ashamed to say it's probably about 10 times bigger than his last tank... poor guy. Well hopefully he enjoys the upgrade and I won't regret this. by regret I mean a dead frog Still wondering what I do when he runs out of food. The two inch bag full has lasted years.... are they supposed to outlive the bag of food???

Winter Break

We have had a lot of sickness over this winter break, in fact as it is nearing its end we seem to be still trying to regain some of our energy. These has been the scene for a lot of it. Lots of snuggles and time to rest. <3 I am not hating it.

Happy New Year

I like to think of myself as a positive person, I love to find the positives in any situation and focus on them but 2015 was hard. Impossibly.Hard. March 25th was life changing and after that moment the year became somewhat of a blur. My father was diagnosed with terminal painful cancer and for the next 5 months my time was spent along with family taking care of him. The next four months after that were spent mourning him and learning how to adjust to our new reality without him. So while we celebrated the end of this year and blew our horns in excitement of the countdown I will never forget 2015, it was a year of sadness and memories I will hold for a lifetime. 2015 was sad because I lost my father, but also I am eternally grateful for it because it was my last year of my life spent here on earth with that man. It was the last year I will see my son with his grandpa here on earth. I look forward to seeing him again but for now I will breathe deep and welcome 2016 in our lives. Cheers to the year ahead that will hopefully hold more laughter than heavy tears.

Year Four

One of my favorite things about Christmas is the annual Christmas lights picture. I love to see how much he has grown and then stare at the collage of all of them together. <3 What an amazing four years, slow down time.

Bored

We are not allowed to say "I'm bored" at our house. However, he has quickly learned that his aunts fall for this when he is home and he can bat his long eyelashes at them and they will usually find something cool to do. This Ry-Bot was the handwork of Aunt Christy as she helped entertain him. Thankful for Aunts who love him.

Paleontologist

One of our favorite things that Santa brought us was a dinosaur dig kit. We explained that this is not something we will finish right away, we will have to work on it for a few days. 20 minutes later and mom, dad, and Ryder covered in dust we had ourselves a triceratops. He loved it and was determined to find all the pieces right away.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve comes early here at this house. Since we have to leave town to go be with family but want the experience of Santa at our own house we usually ask him to come early. He has yet to let us down. :) Ryder knows now that we do Christmas early, we sprinkle our reindeer food out on the lawn and we have a very special light-up snowflake that we hang on our door that tells Santa we are ready for him. I overheard Ryder's cousin asking him how santa knows to come to our house already and he said, "because I have a snowflake that tells him when I need him to come". 

Up ahead...

A lot lies ahead over the next few weeks. I both welcome the change of seasons and dread the idea that there are celebration's coming up and they will come with very heavy hearts. There will be a big part of our holiday missing and it breaks my heart to think about. No one ever spoiled my son like my dad did. He was so over the top, I would always act annoyed. "Dad he doesn't need every Thomas train if he asks for a train". I secretly loved it. Nothing was off limits and Grandpa was a big softie. Ryder has his number and had him wrapped around his finger. It was fun to watch him spoil my child and I know "things" don't define love but watching my dad give him these "things" and his face when he would go over the top was priceless. He did anything and everything to make my child soar with happiness. So if you are reading this, my family could use some prayers for the holiday season that lies ahead. Prayers for strength and hopes that we can feel my dad's presence in the the love that surrounds us and the traditions.

Busy Day Preschool

I am so obsessed with the preschool my little man is at. He loves it and I love hearing about all that he does. Today I was sick and I had the opportunity to take him to preschool and pick him up. This is not a job I take lightly, I wish I could do it everyday. What a fun thing to be able to see their smile at the door and hear all about their activities when they are still excited about them. Today when I picked him up he told me he made two cookies, one for me and one for you mom. <3 He then told me that he made me a new candle because he knows I like pretty candles.

Later that day he told me, "mom I loved having my own mommy pick me up today". Melted my heart and broke it all at the same time. So very thankful for my sweet dude.

Sigh

Love this child of mine. Love walking around and crunching leaves with him and taking in the last of the night's sky. We can walk together in quiet and look around and enjoy the fresh air and nature's beauty. I think he understands the joy of nature and I am thankful for that. He understands that it is peaceful and it is a place to to go to relax and start new. He is my child and no one can argue that. He is also my father in a tiny little package. <3

Snow!!!

Such a fun day playing in our first snowfall. He loved it, I was freezing. :) He was a snowball/snow angel making fool. He loved every minute of being out there and it was fun watching him. There is something magical about the first snowfall and this year it happened early. I am sure it won't stick around long but we will enjoy it while it is here!

Pretty Leaves, Cute Boy

Laundry Day!

When I am washing the sheets I can always guess where he is going to be. Disclaimer - at one point he did have pants on. :)) It cracks me up, the bed is the exact same size with sheets or without. Why is it more enticing without the the sheets on it.

A Boy & His Bear

There are times when we leave the house that he just HAS to take something with us. He usually tells me some story about why this certain something has to come with. "Mom that bear will miss me so much when I am not here" "mom this dragon told me he needs a car ride"  I will admit it happens less and less, so these sweet moments I will cherish.

The Purple Thing

 So here we are again, year two with this costume. He loves it and was not having anything to do with any other costume. Hey I appreciated the fact that I did not have to get another costume this year. :)) The giggles we get when we walk through cracks me up. Kids literally run to catch up with him and peek at the front of him (I am sure out of pure curiosity). I will be sad when I look back and it doesn't fit anymore but man this thing is hideous.

Mom & Me

I am not in shots very often, but I do try every now and again. :) 

Cousin Hiking Day

 Such a fun day hiking and hanging out with these sweet boys. Once they figured out the cattails were dry and ready to "snow" it was all over. :)) They had a blast running through them, sneezes and all!

Best Buds

This summer was hard, this summer was near impossible. If I would have to shine a bit of positivity on those months it would be the relationship between these three boys. They grew together for those months. They learned about each other and learned how to play together and be buds. They grew to expect us hanging out and it was just "normal". I want so badly to have this be our daily life, but I know that is not the path we were given and that's ok. I just hope this bond can continue and the short spurts spent at home won't have as much "making up time" and they can just fall right back to where they left off.

First Field Trip

Today I was blessed to get to go to his field trip to the pumpkin patch. We had such a fun day. As a teacher it is so much fun to watch him listen to his teachers and follow directions. He had a blast and was so excited to pick his pumpkins and his gourds.  

Creeks and Dinos

Dino's are all the rave as with many little boys. It seems everywhere we go is some sort of dinosaur adventure waiting to happen. Tonight as they were tromping through the rocks and traveling along the water I noticed the smallness of him and the dinosaurs. He usually seems so big to me, so it was great to watch him be small. I love his imagination and the places it takes him. He is creative and isn't afraid to "let go" and join the world he is thinking about which I love.