Happy New Year

I like to think of myself as a positive person, I love to find the positives in any situation and focus on them but 2015 was hard. Impossibly.Hard. March 25th was life changing and after that moment the year became somewhat of a blur. My father was diagnosed with terminal painful cancer and for the next 5 months my time was spent along with family taking care of him. The next four months after that were spent mourning him and learning how to adjust to our new reality without him. So while we celebrated the end of this year and blew our horns in excitement of the countdown I will never forget 2015, it was a year of sadness and memories I will hold for a lifetime. 2015 was sad because I lost my father, but also I am eternally grateful for it because it was my last year of my life spent here on earth with that man. It was the last year I will see my son with his grandpa here on earth. I look forward to seeing him again but for now I will breathe deep and welcome 2016 in our lives. Cheers to the year ahead that will hopefully hold more laughter than heavy tears.

Year Four

One of my favorite things about Christmas is the annual Christmas lights picture. I love to see how much he has grown and then stare at the collage of all of them together. <3 What an amazing four years, slow down time.

Bored

We are not allowed to say "I'm bored" at our house. However, he has quickly learned that his aunts fall for this when he is home and he can bat his long eyelashes at them and they will usually find something cool to do. This Ry-Bot was the handwork of Aunt Christy as she helped entertain him. Thankful for Aunts who love him.

Paleontologist

One of our favorite things that Santa brought us was a dinosaur dig kit. We explained that this is not something we will finish right away, we will have to work on it for a few days. 20 minutes later and mom, dad, and Ryder covered in dust we had ourselves a triceratops. He loved it and was determined to find all the pieces right away.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve comes early here at this house. Since we have to leave town to go be with family but want the experience of Santa at our own house we usually ask him to come early. He has yet to let us down. :) Ryder knows now that we do Christmas early, we sprinkle our reindeer food out on the lawn and we have a very special light-up snowflake that we hang on our door that tells Santa we are ready for him. I overheard Ryder's cousin asking him how santa knows to come to our house already and he said, "because I have a snowflake that tells him when I need him to come". 

Up ahead...

A lot lies ahead over the next few weeks. I both welcome the change of seasons and dread the idea that there are celebration's coming up and they will come with very heavy hearts. There will be a big part of our holiday missing and it breaks my heart to think about. No one ever spoiled my son like my dad did. He was so over the top, I would always act annoyed. "Dad he doesn't need every Thomas train if he asks for a train". I secretly loved it. Nothing was off limits and Grandpa was a big softie. Ryder has his number and had him wrapped around his finger. It was fun to watch him spoil my child and I know "things" don't define love but watching my dad give him these "things" and his face when he would go over the top was priceless. He did anything and everything to make my child soar with happiness. So if you are reading this, my family could use some prayers for the holiday season that lies ahead. Prayers for strength and hopes that we can feel my dad's presence in the the love that surrounds us and the traditions.

Busy Day Preschool

I am so obsessed with the preschool my little man is at. He loves it and I love hearing about all that he does. Today I was sick and I had the opportunity to take him to preschool and pick him up. This is not a job I take lightly, I wish I could do it everyday. What a fun thing to be able to see their smile at the door and hear all about their activities when they are still excited about them. Today when I picked him up he told me he made two cookies, one for me and one for you mom. <3 He then told me that he made me a new candle because he knows I like pretty candles.

Later that day he told me, "mom I loved having my own mommy pick me up today". Melted my heart and broke it all at the same time. So very thankful for my sweet dude.

Sigh

Love this child of mine. Love walking around and crunching leaves with him and taking in the last of the night's sky. We can walk together in quiet and look around and enjoy the fresh air and nature's beauty. I think he understands the joy of nature and I am thankful for that. He understands that it is peaceful and it is a place to to go to relax and start new. He is my child and no one can argue that. He is also my father in a tiny little package. <3

Snow!!!

Such a fun day playing in our first snowfall. He loved it, I was freezing. :) He was a snowball/snow angel making fool. He loved every minute of being out there and it was fun watching him. There is something magical about the first snowfall and this year it happened early. I am sure it won't stick around long but we will enjoy it while it is here!

Pretty Leaves, Cute Boy

Laundry Day!

When I am washing the sheets I can always guess where he is going to be. Disclaimer - at one point he did have pants on. :)) It cracks me up, the bed is the exact same size with sheets or without. Why is it more enticing without the the sheets on it.

A Boy & His Bear

There are times when we leave the house that he just HAS to take something with us. He usually tells me some story about why this certain something has to come with. "Mom that bear will miss me so much when I am not here" "mom this dragon told me he needs a car ride"  I will admit it happens less and less, so these sweet moments I will cherish.

The Purple Thing

 So here we are again, year two with this costume. He loves it and was not having anything to do with any other costume. Hey I appreciated the fact that I did not have to get another costume this year. :)) The giggles we get when we walk through cracks me up. Kids literally run to catch up with him and peek at the front of him (I am sure out of pure curiosity). I will be sad when I look back and it doesn't fit anymore but man this thing is hideous.

Mom & Me

I am not in shots very often, but I do try every now and again. :) 

Cousin Hiking Day

 Such a fun day hiking and hanging out with these sweet boys. Once they figured out the cattails were dry and ready to "snow" it was all over. :)) They had a blast running through them, sneezes and all!

Best Buds

This summer was hard, this summer was near impossible. If I would have to shine a bit of positivity on those months it would be the relationship between these three boys. They grew together for those months. They learned about each other and learned how to play together and be buds. They grew to expect us hanging out and it was just "normal". I want so badly to have this be our daily life, but I know that is not the path we were given and that's ok. I just hope this bond can continue and the short spurts spent at home won't have as much "making up time" and they can just fall right back to where they left off.

First Field Trip

Today I was blessed to get to go to his field trip to the pumpkin patch. We had such a fun day. As a teacher it is so much fun to watch him listen to his teachers and follow directions. He had a blast and was so excited to pick his pumpkins and his gourds.  

Creeks and Dinos

Dino's are all the rave as with many little boys. It seems everywhere we go is some sort of dinosaur adventure waiting to happen. Tonight as they were tromping through the rocks and traveling along the water I noticed the smallness of him and the dinosaurs. He usually seems so big to me, so it was great to watch him be small. I love his imagination and the places it takes him. He is creative and isn't afraid to "let go" and join the world he is thinking about which I love.

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Got to spend the day with this sweet dude today. Papaw would always be bere on for his birthday so today mom took the day so he didn't have to go to school. We had such a fun day. He got to go to the "balloon store" and pick out his favorite balloons. "Mom- Ben had Batman balloons, I want Batman balloons". Seriously can't believe we are celebrating 4 years old today.

Birthday Zoo Day

I let him pick what he wanted to do for his birthday and he picked a zoo day. He snuggled goats, played in a tube (for way too long), played in the water, and we rode a train. Such a great day!

Balance

A little air, breeze, and sunshine. Enjoying another day out in the woods and trying to find some balance in life's ups and (way) downs.

Monster Trucks With Daddy

This little guy saw a commercial for a live monster truck show. Let's just say he didn't have to sweet talk dad too long. They went and they had an amazing time, since then he has been obsessed with monster trucks. He has quite the collection and dirt tracks are a go to when we get home from work. #boystuff

Deep Breaths

"Going to the woods is going home". - John Muir. Life has been the kind of stressful that is sometimes too much to bear lately. Walking into the giant woods with patches of light from above is my way of taking a deep breath. Today we spent the day in the woods and it felt good to feel small in the middle of all this chaos that is surrounding me.

Heavy Hearts

Today we had the opportunity to celebrate an amazing man. I have never been more proud to call this man my dad. He has touched a lot of lives and the stories that were shared with me today will be cherished forever. The past five months have been extremely hard on our family but we took every step of it together. Today was not  a day of sadness but a promise to celebrate a life that will continue to live on through generations. I have 32 years of stories with this man and you better believe they are going to live on. As Ryder and I let our balloon go today he said, "I miss my papaw but I know he needs this balloon in his new big house in heaven. He is happy"

I think he is too buddy. Love you dad and we miss you here , but until we meet again it feels pretty good knowing I have such an amazing guardian angel.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/davegodwin/KeeptheMemoryAlive

The Many Faces Of

Just this little dude and me home tonight and we decided to go for a walk after we ate our ice cream from the ice cream truck. (Hints the snap bracelets). I couldn't help but take a few pictures, he was in an awfully bubbly mood. The giggles were cracking me up. Our conversation-
"Ryder I can't remember how this song goes... was it Marry had a little frog, little frog, little frog - Ribbit" **insert laughter like I am the funniest person on earth** I mean I kind of am close at least "No mom she had a lamb" "What did you say she had a lion" " MOMMMM NO SHE HAD A LAMB"

I am currently thinking about quitting my day job to start a comedic career. ;)

Three Turtles, Nemo, A Whale, and Lady Walk Into Dinner

He was taking their orders and cooking them dinner tonight. Looks to me like there was some excellent conversation going on at that dinner table tonight. I would assume this would be an under the sea type event, but I think Ms. Lady is a tad confused on which table she was supposed to sit at. :) 

Little Hands

 I love these little hands. The remind me of how far he has come and how far he has left to grow. They are big, but still tiny. A very long ways to go from having the man hands, but such a big difference from his tiny little newborn flaky hands.

Making Dinner

I was cooking dinner and he asked me if he could cook dinner in his kitchen too. He wanted me to move it out by me. He pretty much followed my every move. When I asked him if he put the olive oil in he responded with a quick "yep". So we were just listening to our nightly music and cooking together. It was a sweet calm moment with this little man.

Man This Pups Cute

I Am Batman

We are still digging the superheros over here. This Batman mask is usually on and usually ends with Hulk gloves while running through the house trying to fight dad.

Summer's End

It always happens and I can't quite figure out why summer ends and I have to go back to work. :)) It has been a summer for the books, I won's say it wasn't stressful and the best summer ever. But it was an emotional summer and a summer spent hand in hand with family. For that reason yes it was a great summer. I am nervous about my time being locked in now and it will be so much harder to get home. My heart is at home right now with my dad so I will find a way to make it work and continue to get back often. Last night we wrapped up our summer with a little late night fishing adventure. It was a beautiful night with a GORGEOUS sunset. It literally looked like the sky and tree tops were on fire. It was a fun way to end the break. Deep breaths and praying for strength and balance as this new school year unfolds. 

Moose

We enjoy being outdoors. It's not unusual for us to pull over and go for a quick 10-15 minute walk somewhere in the woods. Tonight we had about thirty minutes before the ran came and Ry wanted to go walk around. We were walking out the door when he asked if his moose could come with. "My moose wants to go to the woods mom". Hey who am I to deny that cuteness. As we were walking the rain came quickly and the clouds started to cover the sun, but in turn left us with what looked like a lighted path up ahead. The light stayed on the path the whole way out. I felt that we were being guided out, and as soon as we reached the car the downpour happened.

Ask A Stupid Question Get a Stupid Answer

I was just finishing up cleaning the house, I was vacuuming the back bedrooms when I came out to this scene.

"Ryder what in the world are you doing"
"Watching TV mom"

#seemslogical #forthelove